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About Deviant Official Beta Tester EmFemale/Unknown Groups :iconriseofpijira: RiseOfPijira
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Deviant for 4 Years
11 Month Core Membership:
Given by ToffyNaNa
Statistics 112 Deviations 4,120 Comments 12,896 Pageviews



Feb 7, 2016
4:11 pm
Feb 6, 2016
7:45 am
Feb 6, 2016
4:41 am
Feb 5, 2016
7:20 pm
Feb 3, 2016
10:22 am
I didn't want to do this. 

But as some of you may know, I'm feeling bad again. About myself, my life, my art, my writing. About everything, to sum it up. I thought I was getting better. I would've noted this to a person or two if the situation was any different, but I thought it would be selfish to only let some of my friends know what's going on with me. So I'm putting this thing out in the open, so everybody can see what a mess I really am. 

Well, this feels wrong.

Anyway, I really appreciate the little amount of messages, asking me if I'm okay. I'm not. I'm not going to go into details, but I've been messed up for a very long time now, and I've decided to talk about it to my mother. And I guess that was the final straw.
I received no support. None at all. She even dared to make fun of me at one point, but that doesn't really matter now. What I wanted to say is... I'm leaving. 

I don't know for how long, but I need to piece myself back together. I thought I would get better eventually, but after forgetting about everything for a while, I have realized that the things I try to ignore come back multiple times worse.

I have posted a vent pic on my Tumblr, some of you might have seen it. I have also realized that drawing is the only thing that makes me feel better, even if it's for a short time. But it's also one of the things I regret, because I've been feeling terrible about it lately. Nothing is good enough. Not me, not the things I do, not the way I behave. 

Please, don't send me messages. I know not many people would bother to do so anyway, but I won't respond to them because talking about my problems makes me feel even worse. I'm sorry. I'll try and get through this myself, just as I've always done. It'll be okay.

I hope.
  • Mood: Sadness


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ToffyNaNa Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2016  Student Digital Artist




How was schoooooool?
Avenyl Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2016
Math. Hell. Test. Knew nothing. Shit.
I literally forgot to study because I was drawing the llama adventure thing. ;-;
ToffyNaNa Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Ha, don't worry... I've gone into exams not knowing anything. Take my maths exam for example. Did the first page and left all 24 pages blank. Only filled out the multiple choice ones then did doodles of me babs;-;
Avenyl Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2016
And how did it go? xD You had to guess some of them right.
(1 Reply)
dragonfreak1112 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2015
:iconsadhugplz: hope you are doing ok.
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